Buddhist light bulb jokes

I couldn’t resist reproducing these here, taken from the Santipada website via Sujato’s blog:

How many monks does it take to change a light bulb?

They can’t. There’s no light bulbs in the Vinaya.

How many vipas­sana med­it­at­ors does it take to change a light bulb?

No need. Just mind­fully note: ‘dark­ness, dark­ness, darkness’.

How many Nagar­junas does it take to change a light bulb?

Since there’s no Nagar­juna and no light bulb, how can there be any change?

How many Buddhist schol­ars does it take to change a light bulb?

An inter­na­tion­ally respec­ted com­mit­tee of aca­dem­ics, after delib­er­at­ing all night, con­clus­ively failed to agree on the mean­ing of the word ‘light bulb’. Mean­while, the sun came up.

How many Zen mas­ters does it take to change a light bulb?

The peach blos­soms fall softly on the warty old frog.

How many Abhid­hamma schol­ars does it take to change a light bulb?

There are 20W light bulbs, 40W light bulbs, 80W light bulbs, 100W …200W…

There are 6V light bulbs, 12V light bulbs, 120V light bulbs, 240V light bulbs…

There are incan­des­cent bulbs, fluor­es­cent bulbs…

There are clear light bulbs, pearled light bulbs, colored light bulbs…

There are screw-in light bulbs, bay­onet light bulbs…

There are 20W light bulbs that are 6V, there are 20W light bulbs that are 12V…120V…240V…

There are 40W light bulbs that are 6V…240V…

80W…100W…200W…

There are 20W light bulbs that are 6V incandescent…

There are 200W light bulbs that are 240V, flor­es­cent, colored, and bayonet.

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About naomiappleton

I work in the Divinity School at the University of Edinburgh, where I research and teach subjects related to South and Southeast Asian religions.
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